I’m a problem solver.

I found myself solving problems and being resourceful since being a pre teen. It fell into my lap. My mom, as hard as she tried, oftentimes gave up once she received a “no”. Well… maybe not immediately, but after she felt she exhausted all options.

On the surface that sounds normal. The old adege “When one door closes…” However, there were many cases in which the answer “no” was not an option, the situation had to be resolved. And as a young kid, I understood that. It was almost as if I knew the situation wouldn’t turn out well if it weren’t resolved.

That knack of resolution served me well in life- particularly in my earlier career as an Administrative Assistant . In fact, not only was I great at managing my boss, I became known as the “go to” person in and out of my business unit. That knack also extended to my personal life in which I became the “subject matter expert” on a myriad of topics and information. People sought out my advice or “expertise” and I willingly assisted. I enjoyed the research and solving problems. The way I saw it, it was a gift to be shared with anyone who need it. Freely.

That was until my eyes were opened.

After a few years of witnessing my solutions to grateful recipients and me near collapse one day, my late husband informed me it was time to stop. Puzzled, I informed him that I couldn’t rest on my ”gifts”. He then explained what he meant: “Kat, you have been saying the same thing and doing the same things to the same people for quite some time now. If they haven’t gotten it by now, chances are they either won’t or are just being lazy”.

Wow! Talking about eye opening! As much as I liked the feeling of being needed and helpful, I realized that I was doing a disservice to those who sought the easy way out. Those who really weren’t interested in finding a solution, let alone putting in the effort to achieve it. They only wanted the research done for them. The answers laid out for them to ponder on.

The question then becomes: how do we find the hope in situations in which we don’t want to put in the time or effort to resolve? Maybe hope isn’t so elusive after all.