One day, I happened to overhear a conversation my mom was having with brother Daniel over a cup of coffee. While I didn’t hear what preceded this comment, I suddenly heard my uncle’s voice say, “Consider the source, Mina.”

I later asked him about it and his explanation was simple enough:

“Look at the person making the comments.”

When we consider “the source,” of negative comments directed toward our lives, for example, we realize they exhibit their own patterns of negative behavior. You’ve probably had your own encounters with:

The person who never compliments.

The person who always complains.

The person who can never be happy for anyone else.

The person who always criticizes.

When we listen to these individuals, it’s easy to become discouraged—it’s only natural. If you’re only talking to people who only know how to take lemonade and turn them to lemons, you can never win. Any achievement worth celebrating will be reframed as a problem.

Sometimes we internalize others’ insecurities, jealousies, and overall low self-esteem without realizing those are their feelings, not ours.

I remember seeing my mom’s face instantly light up once my uncle shared this advice—she was able to realize she had nothing to do with their issues.

That’s what hope does. It shows up in our lowest places.

Often, those places are created by “the source.”